'I choose to live

George's story:

'It has been just over 2 years now that I got to a stage in my life that I thought I would never ever reach. Nor did I believe that I would be the type of person who would ever attempt to commit suicide. A lot of people that know and have known me for many years could not believe it either as I had always came across as a very strong and motived person – and I truly was.

However, there are things that happen in our lives that we never plan for, which take us to a very dark place – one that is not easy to get out of – and no matter what I tried it seemed to get darker and darker.

I had gone to see a psychologist and was put onto anti-depressants and for a short time these seemed to be working. But the mind is a very strange and powerful thing – we really do underestimate the power of the mind – and things just seemed to be getting worse and worse. Things had gotten so bad that I really felt as if I was dead already.

And just like that – one morning I woke up and decided that today was the day my life had to come to a physical end as I was already dead on the inside. I got into my car and drove to a place that was my little haven growing up as a kid – a 4 hour drive from Jo’burg. If I was going to do this I wanted to ensure that no-one would be able to get to me in time. Little did I know that God had other ideas...

I spent the day remembering my childhood and the meaningful times in my life. I went into the room that I had booked and started writing letters to all the people I wanted to say goodbye to. After that I took the sleeping tablets and the other pills. I had taken close on 38 pills and from that point recall nothing.

During the day some of my friends tried to contact me but I would just ignore their calls as I was afraid they would try and talk me out of it. But a strange thing happened..... in my drugged up state (after taking the pills) I was not aware of what I was doing anymore and I answered a call.

It was my sister who had been trying to contact me the whole day as she knew something was wrong. They were at the police station trying to lay a missing persons report. By doing this they could activate the Tracker on my car and locate me.

I gave them my location and they called the resort where I was to let them know what was taking place, and then they contacted the paramedics. It took the paramedics 2 hours to get to me and when they did they said it was too late for them to pump my stomach as the medication was in my bloodstream already. All they could do was try and stabilise me.

I thank God every day that the medication I had taken was not the right medication to kill me. My sister (Kerry) and brother (Theo) and my girlfriend at the time, arrived there after turning a 4 hour drive from Jo’burg into a two and a half hour drive – putting their own lives in danger in the process. They came into the room to see how I was but I could not stay awake. From the point I had taken the pills until I was on my way home the next day I cannot remember a single moment.

When I had arrived home everybody told me that they wanted me to be booked into a wellness clinic where they would be able to help me with what I was going through. I went to see the psychologist on the Friday morning and she wanted to admit me the same day. She gave me information on what I would be doing there and how it would help. I told her I would think about it and let her know after the weekend.

I decided that it was up to me to make my life better and I chose to go to the clinic for the two weeks that they wanted me to go for but on my terms. I would only go if I did not have to take any anti depressants as I wanted to do this the natural way. I wanted to feel the pain and work through it – no matter how painful and how hard it would be. I didn’t want to feel numb the way anti depressants would make me feel.

I met a lot of patients while I was in there and other psychologists and was told how I inspired them as I had made a life changing choice. Not only did I choose to live I also spoke about my story to others. I believed the only way I would get through it would be to let go of it and get it out of my system.

Since then my life has been getting back on track. I choose to live each day and sort things out one day at a time. It is not life that is hard but us that make it harder and unbearable for ourselves. We all have a choice in life and it’s up to us to choose how we want it to play out. The mind is a very powerful thing and I learn every day that we can use this to our advantage to make our lives better.

Remember one thing – we do have family and friends who are there to listen and stand by us – no matter how great or small the problem. Don’t feel afraid to confide in them. I would like to thank my family and friends for standing by me through my tough times and who still stand by now. You guys are amazing and you all deserve all the happiness your heart’s desire. I CHOOSE TO LIVE and I hope you do too. '

Like any other part of the body, the brain can become ill. The American Psychiatric Association lists over 400 disorders that can be referred to as psychiatric illnesses. A list of the more common of these appears alongside.

With such a diverse number of disorders, treatment is as varied as the symptoms. Sometimes the cause can be traced to chemical imbalances within the brain. Once the balance is restored – and this could mean taking medication every day – the patient may go on to lead a normal life.

But often psychologists and psychiatrists are not able to pinpoint the exact cause - and treatment is not necessarily medicinal, but rather a process of multi-disciplinary psycho-social rehabilitation.

People with psychiatric disorders are often discriminated against in the work place and a major part of our work is in helping to create opportunites, protect rights and promote integration.